Contentment

Part of growing up has to do with finding yourself. Finding who you want to be, where you want to be, what you want to look like and how everything in your life fits in with your personality. For me going off to college, this meant a wealth of confusion and unhappiness. Every time I turned around I was wanting something different, something more, something something something. When I was in Springfield I was always itching to go home to see my parents or to Colorado to see Logan or my brother. When I was home I was missing my friends at school and getting snippy with my parents. I wanted to be a yoga instructor but once I became one I complained about having to go to work. I wanted to do everything I could to become the best psychologist I could be, the fittest woman I could be, the coolest friend, the sweetest daughter, and so many other things. I knew that this was just being an indecisive 20 year old with passions and dreams that went in all different directions. Something told me that in order to help with all of this, I needed to go abroad.

Being in the Netherlands brought on a huge adventure. I have been forced out of my comfort zone in so many situations and I am learning so much from it. The time difference from back home has made it so I cannot talk to anyone until late afternoon. I usually only have wifi in my room and otherwise cannot use my phone. I am in the middle of a country who only speaks English if you ask and I am forced to be on my own. Thank God because that is what is making me grow.

I wake up every morning wanting to ride my bike to any little place that sells coffee and sit out on their outdoor patio sipping and people watching or sipping and reading my kindle or sipping and thinking about everything and nothing. Where at first I used to get nervous ordering at these Cafe's because I don't speak dutch, now I get excited to have to speak with someone from another walk of life every time I want to order! It is fascinating to think that everyday I get to enjoy the company of people who carry out totally different but oddly similar lifestyles as mine.

I am surrounded by beautiful scenery like charming buildings with tons of history mixed in with modern, cutting-edge architecture. There are cafe's that line the streets, one after the other that serve coffee and tea by day and turn into vibrant pubs by night. Everything is dual purpose, innovative and convenient.

I have been on my own in the Netherlands for 11 days now and I have already figured out one small clue as to why I am here. Sitting in my room of white walls and cheap decorations, feeling the breeze through my window, I am content. Riding my bicycle down beautiful streets, or in the pouring rain, or with a backpack full of groceries, I am content. Whether it is a day that 4 months feels too short to be here or its a day where those 4 months feel like a lifetime, I am content. I know that this is where God has sent me for the rest of 2015. I feel safe, I feel happy and I feel home. I am content with the situation that I am in and I think that might be a first for me. What a beautiful feeling it is to know that whatever you choose to do has a meaning and a purpose but also no matter what you choose, it will always be the correct choice.